Ask Kait: 4 Sex Positions for Overweight People
sex positions for overweight people

4 Sex Positions for Overweight People

Anonymous asks:

Are there any books I might check out for sex with an unusually heavy man?  Without getting too graphic, his stomach is so large, we cannot have sex; it just simply cannot be done…therefore other positions are necessary…I need help.   


I love your commitment to finding freedom in pleasure despite some technical issues. Being of size doesn’t have to limit your sex life. With a few adjustments, you’ll be on your way to having the intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life you crave.

Prop yourself up

The best props for sex don’t come from a fancy store: you can find them right in your linen closet! I’m talking about pillows and rolled-up towels. Use them  to balance, relieve stress on joints, and get creative. Place them are under your head, knees, hips, or anywhere else you need some extra support, comfort, or lift.

Don’t have what you need on hand? Make your shopping trip part of the foreplay. As you debate which sizes and shapes you’ll use where, you’ll want to rush home and put them to use!


Chat with your partner about what positions you want to try—which ones sound fun? Look sexy? Feel good?—and how you can adapt them to work for your body. Need inspiration? Check out my friend Elle’s book, Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life. You also can ask him what words he’d like you to use to describe his belly, as well as if and how he’d like you to touch it. Remember: there’s no single “right” answer here. It’s about what he’s comfortable with and excited by right now.

During sexy times, keep the communication going with these tips.

Don’t discount sex toys

Things like a penis extender sheath can make him longer so that he can reach in different positions. A vibrating penis ring gives you extra stimulation, right where you need it. Sex slings—whether for your body or for the door—let you get into new positions and feel supported in your favorites.

Don’t be afraid to touch and move your fat—or your beau’s, with their permission

The more you can work towards being with, accepting, and even loving his belly, the more it can become part of your sexy fun times. Holding his belly up or shifting it to adjust into a position can become an intimate part of your sex life rather than an obstacle. Just be sure to talk about who he’s OK with touching his belly.

Remember that sex is so much more than PIV

Shift your goal from having penis-in-vagina sex to experiencing as much pleasure as possible. How you get there—hands, mouths, toys, or cocks—doesn’t matter so much as feeling satisfied.

4 Sex Positions for Overweight People

So your beau has a big belly and it makes penis-in-vagina sex hard. Focus on positions where you don’t have to bear their weight, like you being on top or having them penetrate you from behind. Here are four ideas to get you started.

Gutsy Doggie

The receiving partner gets comfortable on all fours with their back arched. If it’s more comfortable, rest the head and chest on pillows and blankets. The penetrating partner kneels behind them, resting their belly on the receiving partner’s bum.

Cushioned Reverse Cowgirl

The penetrating partner lies on on their back. The receiving partner faces their feet, leans forward so the belly isn’t in the way, and sits on their cock. Leaning forward also makes it easier for the receiving partner to move up and down or back and forth. The receiving partner can also put pillows under their knees for more comfort—or to adjust for different heights.

Standing Pretzel

The receiving partner lies on their right side near the edge of the bed, with their bottom leg hanging off and their top leg straight up in the air. The penetrating partner steps between their split legs, holding the leg that’s lifted. The penetrating partner also can have their belly rest on the receiving partner’s pelvis and abdomen. Because this position is so open, it’s great for partners to use their hands and mouths to explore each other during penetration.

Kneeling V

The receiving partner lies on their back with pillows under their legs so they open in a wide V shape. The penetrating partner kneels between the V, lifting their belly out of the way and onto their partner’s pelvis and belly. For g-spot stimulation, have the receiving partner put a pillow under their hips.

Even more resources for even more sex positions for heavier people


Dawn Serra

Hanne Blank

Elle Chase

Sexologist Megan

Jenna Weintraub



Sex Gets Real 113: Elle Chase on fat bodies, fat sex, and orgasms

Sex Gets Real 147: Fat Sex with Curvy Girl Sex Author Elle Chase

Sex Gets Real 188: Trust after betrayal, fat sex, safer sex


Big, Big Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them)

Sex Positions for Every Body: From Kama Sutra’s Clasping Position to the Weightless Doggie

Ride ‘Em Cowgirl!

Asking for and making accommodations isn’t an issue

Every couple has something physical they need to adapt to. This is yours. With creativity and open communication, you’ll be able to experience all the intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex you desire.

Featured image by Tabata Roja
A Monthly Experience Unlike Any Other. Shop Cora.
you may also like...

One Response to “4 Sex Positions for Overweight People”

4 Sex Positions for People of Size | Passion by Kait

October 11, 2018 3:07 pm

[…] Read the rest of the tips + get the positions on Blood + Milk […]


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *