Ask Kait: 4 Sex Positions for Fat People

Anonymous asks:

Are there any books I might check out for sex with an unusually heavy man?  Without getting too graphic, his stomach is so large, we cannot have sex; it just simply cannot be done…therefore other positions are necessary…I need help.   


So your beau has a big belly and it makes penis-in-vagina sex hard. Being of size doesn’t have to limit your sex life. With a few adjustments, you’ll be on your way to having the intimate, exciting, and fulfilling sex life you crave. 

Focus on positions where you don’t have to bear their weight, like you being on top or having them penetrate you from behind. Here are four ideas to get you started.

Doggie Style

The receiving partner gets comfortable on all fours with their back arched. If it’s more comfortable, rest the head and chest on pillows and blankets. The penetrating partner kneels behind them, resting their belly on the receiving partner’s bum.

Reverse Cowgirl

The penetrating partner lies on their back. The receiving partner places their knees on each side of their partner, facing their feet. The receiving partner then leans forward so their partner’s belly isn’t in the way, and sits on their penis or strap-on. Leaning forward also makes it easier for the receiving partner to move up and down or back and forth. The receiving partner can also put pillows under their knees for more comfort—or to adjust for different heights.

Standing Pretzel

The receiving partner lies on their right side near the edge of the bed, with their bottom leg hanging off and their top leg straight up in the air. The penetrating partner steps between their split legs, holding the leg that’s lifted. The penetrating partner also can have their belly rest on the receiving partner’s pelvis and abdomen. Because this position is so open, it’s great for partners to use their hands and mouths to explore each other during penetration.

Kneeling V

The receiving partner lies on their back with pillows under their legs so they open in a wide V shape. The penetrating partner kneels between the V, lifting their belly out of the way and onto their partner’s pelvis and belly. For g-spot stimulation, have the receiving partner put a pillow under their hips.

Additional Strategies for Sex With an Overweight Partner

Along with the above sex positions, there are other ways to make sex with an overweight partner easier for them and more enjoyable for both of you:

Incorporate Props Into Your Sex

Props are an excellent addition to sex for overweight people, as they often provide additional support. The best props for sex don’t come from a fancy store: you can find them right in your linen closet! I’m talking about pillows and rolled-up towels. Use them to balance, relieve stress on joints, and get creative. Place them are under your head, knees, hips, or anywhere else you need some extra support, comfort, or lift.

Don’t have what you need on hand? Make your shopping trip part of the foreplay. As you debate which sizes and shapes you’ll use where, you’ll want to rush home and put them to use!

Communicate Wants & Needs During Sex

Chat with your partner about what positions you want to try—which ones sound fun? Look sexy? Feel good?—and how you can adapt them to work for your body. You also can ask them what words they’d like you to use to describe their belly, as well as if and how they’d like you to touch it. Remember: there’s no single “right” answer here. It’s about what he’s comfortable with and excited by right now.

During sexy times, keep the communication going with these tips.

Don’t discount sex toys

There are plenty of sex toys available that help make sex with your overweight partner a little easier to navigate:

Embracing Your Partner’s Fat is an Intimate Act

The more you can work towards being with, accepting, and even loving your partner’s body, the more it can become part of your sexy fun times. Holding their belly or other areas of their body, or shifting them to adjust into a position can become an intimate part of your sex life rather than an obstacle. Just be sure to outline boundaries and make sure you have a solid understanding of where on your partner’s body they enjoy (and don’t enjoy) being touched. 

Remember that sex is so much more than PIV

Shift your goal from having penis-in-vagina sex to experiencing as much pleasure as possible. How you get there—hands, mouths, toys, or cocks—doesn’t matter so much as feeling satisfied.

Even More Resources For Even More Sex Positions For Heavier People


Dawn Serra

Hanne Blank

Elle Chase

Sexologist Megan

Jenna Weintraub



Sex Gets Real 113: Elle Chase on fat bodies, fat sex, and orgasms

Sex Gets Real 147: Fat Sex with Curvy Girl Sex Author Elle Chase

Sex Gets Real 188: Trust after betrayal, fat sex, safer sex


Big, Big Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them)

Sex Positions for Every Body: From Kama Sutra’s Clasping Position to the Weightless Doggie

Ride ‘Em Cowgirl!

Featured image by Tabata Roja

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Continue the conversation


  • My boyfriend is 6’4″ – 415 lbs and I’m 5’3″ – 155lbs. This is my first time dating anyone of a larger size. But WOW!! I love our size difference, our sex life is a new adventure every time. We haven’t let it hold either one of us back. Our favorite is when I am on top, doing squats. He gets to watch while encouraging me on. And those cuddles afterwards??? Omg! Nothing like them!

  • I love too cuddle with my boyfriend he is 6’4 and 350 and this is the first time I have ever been with a guy this big and it’s not true what they say about big men and there not been anything down there he is very large.

  • Just need2here some good ideals with my new man hes on the heavy side with a large belly an his penis could b a little larger than what it is, but for the most I just want to enjoy lots of sex with him without it being a problem with his weight or his stomach that’s my most problem

  • I am about 290 lbs. I have really big thighs and butt. My man is tall and normal sized. I’m 5’6” and he’s 6’5”. I need some positions other than doggie that I can do. I want to do reverse cowgirl but I am afraid to try thinking I can’t spread my thighs apart enough to straddle him. I really want to ride the hell out of his sexy ass….help!!!

  • I really want to thank the writer and commenters for sharing and helping me! This is great! I love a big bear of a man with a big belly and it’s my first in this situation and I am a little intimidated!!!

  • We can all use all the help we can get. No one wants to discuss weight or excess belly getting in the way. Finding a position for our aging, overweight bodies shouldn’t be so hard! Thank you for the ideas.


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