Why is My Vagina Numb? (And How to Re-Sensitize it)
why is my vagina numb

Why Is My Vagina Numb?

Vaginal numbness is not a sign that you’re broken. Nor does it make you less of a woman. It does, however, reflect the state of your relationship with your womanhood. Moreover, it mirrors society’s relationship with female sexuality as a whole. Acceptance and exploration of female pleasure is a relatively new phenomenon that’s pushing back on the vaginal shaming that tells us “down there” is a dark and dirty place.

Numb genitals are therefore largely a product of social conditioning that devalues a woman’s sexuality. Rape culture doesn’t help, as news of physical assault is routinely exposed and the female body seems to be permanently under threat. It’s no wonder a woman might want to disassociate from her sexuality, and yet the pelvic bowl is where her power lies. It’s also where her pleasure lies.

Numb genitals are therefore largely a product of social conditioning that devalues a woman’s sexuality.

Nevertheless, 90 percent of women say they experience orgasm through sexual stimulation, but rarely do so through vaginal penetration alone. Research may tell us men orgasm more easily than women, but this isn’t something you should accept without trying first to disprove it. Much of the work that needs to be done to re-sensitize a numb vagina involves unlearning everything you’ve been taught about your sexual anatomy. If you have a high sex drive and get aroused easily, but still feel nothing in your vagina, you just have to take the time to find your blocks and hot spots. What’s more, your blocks may not be biological.  

Am I Thinking My Vagina Numb?

The overriding messages conveyed in movies, the media and porn all portray sex, and the female body, in a way that’s hard to assimilate with the reality of what we experience. This can be both frustrating and confusing. If you’re unable to see yourself as a sexual being, even the most devoted and attentive partner will struggle to convince you otherwise.

If you experience a sense of separation from your body, specifically your vagina, this could be a form of subconscious protection. A woman may expose her body during a sexual encounter without opening herself up emotionally or mentally. Yet psychological and physiological arousal cannot be separated.

The medical community considers low libido and lack of sensation to be a sexual arousal disorder. Yet this isn’t always a medical condition. When a woman is aroused, the blood flow to her genitals increases, which encourages vaginal lubrication and swelling in readiness for penetration. If, however, you’re penetrated before you’re ready, the vagina tenses, and repetitive tensing can cause desensitization—but you can undo this damage by rebuilding a sense of trust in your body’s ability to receive pleasure without pain.   

Is My Vagina Traumatized?

Premature penetration, whether consensual or not, can impact your mental and emotional attitude towards sex, as well as your body’s physical response to it. In fact, any distressing experience associated with the pelvic bowl, such as miscarriage, painful childbirth, or a relationship that was emotionally wounding, can leave the energetic scars of trauma that damage vaginal nerve endings.

The vagina is therefore largely perceived as a receiver, a passive organ, rather than an active creator.

Cultural perceptions of the female experience can also leave traumatic residue that blocks genital sensation. There is total separation between a woman who gives birth and a woman having sex. One is widely analyzed and the other is left in the delivery room. The vagina is therefore largely perceived as a receiver, a passive organ, rather than an active creator. But if you begin to see your vagina as a tool for creating your own pleasure, rather than simply receiving your partner’s, you can cultivate a shift in your own perceptions.

Counseling or talking therapy may help to uncover whatever is blocking your sensuality. Have you felt threatened or depressed; are you dealing with painful sexual memories; do you feel safe around your partner; or do you have intimacy issues? The answers to these questions will support the conversation that you’re beginning to have with your body.

How to Re-Sensitize Your Vagina

When healing a numb vagina, you might want to bypass penile penetration altogether—if only for a while. You can bypass the need to achieve orgasm too, since focusing on climax detracts from the sensations that precede it. If possible, steer clear of fantasy and stay present with the physical experience. The vagina is essentially a muscle that can be massaged to release tension and increase blood flow.

Simply use your fingers or a toy to explore your vagina gently and consciously, concentrating on any areas that seem painful or tense. It’s not unusual to feel an energetic release of grief, trauma, or other stored emotion. If you need to make noise, cry, or even laugh, let it happen so you can let it go. It’s through this clearing process that you can discover your G-spot, cervix and A-spot—the full potential for pleasure that your vagina holds.  

Vaginal numbness is also associated with hormonal imbalance, menopause, multiple sclerosis, or cauda equina syndrome. If lack of sensation is accompanied by other worrying symptoms, please speak to your doctor.  

Featured image by Tim Goehart
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6 Responses to “Why Is My Vagina Numb?”

Nicole Erickson

September 21, 2018 5:42 pm

I take so much umbrage with this article. This is victim blaming disguised as self-help. If a woman is experiencing numbness, the go-to diagnosis should NOT be that she doesn’t have a good relationship with her womanhood! With everything else I’m apparently doing wrong, I’m also bad at womanhood? This is such a damaging point of view. I my personal experience, it was due to a new medication I was prescribed, which is probably far more common and easier to address than “social conditioning that devalues a woman’s sexuality”. What is this author’s sources that back up her theory that vaginal numbness is caused by some imagined mental block on the woman’s part? She needed to start with her last paragraph, then perhaps stopped there as well.

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Casey

January 30, 2019 10:46 am

> You should know the symptoms of your medication. I personally found this article very helpful.

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A

February 03, 2019 1:50 pm

> she never said she didn’t know the symptoms of the medication.

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Alexandria Lee

November 19, 2018 5:50 pm

Maybe a little bit TMI. But I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and this is just starting to happen to me. I can no longer feel pleasure during intercourse I’m only 20 years old this is very frustrating I’ve only been with one person sexually and I’m very concerned

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Bloom

January 11, 2019 3:18 am

This is one of the most stupid arzicles ever. sorry to offend you, but it’s a fact. I am perfectly fine with my womanhood! Nobody shamed me and my sex for God’s sake! I hate to see constantly self-proclaimed sex coaches or women who pretend that every man is the fault of her own problems, that the only chance for hapiness and good health is a “female sexual revolution “. Wtf? I consider sex as something between me and my bf, not the entire public. Moreover, it bothers me that you’reu ubeing told that acting like a slut in public is embracing your sexuality. It apparently isn’t. How you act in your bedroom is your thing and it should be private. The pressure that the public makes that you’ re prectically a loser if you’re not supporting sucb circus is large. My numbness is not connected with not respecting myself or embracing my sexual nature. i enjoy sex, but it is my private stuff. The problem is my anxiety and maybe my body, but hey… Orasm is not thw most important thing in life. If a temporary feeling is that impkrtant to you than your own good and partner, than you have a problem

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Hannah

February 09, 2019 3:23 pm

Some are saying the article is misinformed, but as someone who takes several non-optional medications, has a past of sexual trauma, and has a marriage to keep together, looking into the idea of having a relationship with my “womanhood” and using it as a tool for my pleasure instead one for receiving it from my partner is very insightful. I did grow up in that conservative Christian household that convinced me my vagina is a dark and dirty place. I’ve been in a safe, emotionally stable and supportive relationship for 4 years, and I keep cycling, struggling and re-struggling to get good feelings down there (forget about an orgasm). Recently some things that used to work have stopped and that worries me. I want to believe this is something I can fix, and addressing it as something personal and psychological is MUCH more helpful than the doctors I talk to that say I’m “just doing it wrong” or to “try some lube”. Just because you don’t agree with the perspective of the article, doesn’t mean it’s a bad perspective.

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